Want a Tour of my Lair?
by ficklepickle7
Summary: Just a little one shot I wrote up about Perry showing Phineas and Ferb his lair. I hope you like it! Please review! Sequel to You Lie. I just updated it, and its much better now! :D


**Author's Note:**** Hello again everyone! I decided to update this story based on my two reviews, which were both suggesting things I should add to it. You two made very good points, and I thank you for reviewing, even if it wasn't all positive! Also, anonymous reviewer, Pansy is Perry's girlfriend, and there's a separate story I wrote that explains how she got involved. I guess I forgot to mention that this is a sequel… Oops! Anyways, read on!**

**Disclaimer:**** I don't own anything except Pansy and the plot.**

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**_Perry's POV_**

"Okay, who wants to have a tour of my lair?" I asked everyone at breakfast.

"Ferb and I would love that? What about you, Candace?" Phineas said optimistically.

"Sure. I don't think I have ever seen it." Candace said. Pansy stepped up beside me.

"What's going on here?" She asked.

"Perry is going to give a tour of his lair!" Phineas told her.

"Ooh, can I help?" She said, looking at me happily. I nodded.

"Alright, everyone to Phineas' closet!" I said, motioning to the stairs. Everyone looked puzzled.

"What do you mean 'my closet'?" Phineas asked.

"Well, I knew would know about my double life sometime, so I had an entrance put there. It's big enough for all of us to fit at one time." I explained.

"Cool! Let's go!" Phineas said and went upstairs. Soon everyone was standing in front of the closet. I went in and pressed my paw to the wall in the corner. Some lights blinked and the back of the closet opened up. There was an elevator there, its doors open wide. Everyone stared in surprise at it.

"Come on, let's go! I can't believe I didn't show you this before now…" I said, stepping inside. Everyone followed me hesitantly. Then the doors closed and the elevator descended.

Soon the doors opened with a 'bing'. I showed everyone out into my platypus-themed lair. They stared at everything in awe. I smiled and walked around, showing everything to the group. I showed them my vehicles, tools, and computer. Soon I made it over to the robots.

"Alright, this will probably be the freakiest part of the tour." I said nervously, pushing a button. The door opened, revealing the Flynn-Fletcher robots, even a new one that looked like Pansy.

"Whoa! What are these?" Phineas asked, looking around awkwardly.

"These, my friends, are the Flynn-Fletcher robots, used if I needed to replace one of you." I said, walking over to each one.

"And Candace, do you ever wonder why your 'dad' was acting weirdly on that Father-Daughter fun day thing or whatever?" I said, smirking at her.

"No way…" Candace muttered in shock.

"Yep, it was me in this one when your dad found my lair and had a little mishap with the memory eraser…" I said, patting the Lawrence robot.

"That's why you only said three things and played the games weirdly!" Candace realized.

"Yep. I'll show you, if you want…" I suggested. Candace blinked and smiled. I climbed into the robot and turned it on. The eyes lit up. I made the robot walk around and talk a little. Everyone was amazed. Then I jumped out and put it back.

"Wow! That day makes a lot more sense now!" Candace said, staring at the robot. Then I finished the rest of the tour.

"Wow, Perry, your lair is amazing! Even though we have been here once before." Phineas said, walking over to my hover car.

"Well, actually, you have been here twice before." I blurted out before slapping a paw on my own mouth. Everyone looked at me in confusion.

"What do you mean? I can only remember coming here once before. Wait, Ferb, so you didn't build that secret agent thing? That makes so much more sense." Phineas realized. Ferb nodded.

"…yeah…" I said slowly, looking at the ground.

"Seriously, how did I not notice that everything was platypus-themed?" Phineas asked, looking at my tools. I just sighed and turned to my computer again. I needed to tell them about the Second Dimension. I brought up the pictures and turned the monitor off.

"Um… Can everyone come over here… for just a moment?" I sputtered out nervously. Everyone gathered around my chair.

"Can you make this quick? All of this platypus-themed stuff reminds me of when we switched bodies…" Candace said, shuddering. I shivered in disgust, too.

"Wait, you guys switched bodies?" Pansy asked. I nodded stiffly.

"And it was the weirdest day of my life." I muttered. Pansy burst out in howling laughter. I rolled my eyes and blushed.

"So how did that day go for you?" Candace asked me glumly while Pansy was still laughing.

"Well, I actually didn't notice until I had to squeeze into my lair through a platypus sized elevator. Monogram didn't recognize me until I put on my fedora, and he assumed that it was a new costume. Of course I had to deal with my missing tail, and the fact that Stacy thought I was you, but overall it was okay." I explained, causing Pansy to laugh even harder. Candace nodded.

"Well, my day was horrible! I had to pretend to be a mindless platypus for my mom and when Jeremy came over, and I threw up on the carpet after eating your disgusting insect-based food. And in case you didn't know, YOU SWEAT MILK!" Candace hissed and I flinched.

"Number one, the food is okay after you get used to it, and number two, yes, I do know the disgusting fact that I sweat milk." I said, bright red in the face. Candace made a face as Pansy pointed at her and laughed some more.

"Alright Pansy, that's enough. Can I please get back to what I was saying before?" I asked sarcastically. Pansy stopped laughing and nodded.

"Good. Well, there was this day. Pansy was not here yet… and… you all saved the world from evil robots. Okay, I said it." I told everyone, getting some confused glances from the group.

"Um… I don't remember a day when we fought evil robots…" Phineas said slowly. I sighed.

"Well, you're not supposed to remember…" I said with a nervous smile.

"What do you mean, we aren't supposed to remember?" Candace asked suspiciously.

"I'm just going to say this. My boss erased your memory of that day, because you found out that I was a secret agent." I said sadly.

"Wait, so you're telling me that we all fought robots and won, but had our memory erased because we found out your secret." Phineas repeated. I nodded.

"Perry, I'm sorry, but I just don't remember. Or believe you." Candace said.

"Well, I have proof. But you can't say a word to my boss, because I'm not supposed to be showing you this." I said nervously, turning on the monitor. The pictures popped up, along with the music. Pansy snickered at the one with the pee-covered couch cushion, and I rolled my eyes. When the slideshow was over, everyone stared at me.

"What?" I asked. Everyone shrugged.

"Is there a way we could get our memory back?" Phineas asked. I smiled.

"I was hoping you would ask that! Right over here." I said, showing everyone to a machine under a tarp. I uncovered it, and it was the amnesia-inator. I turned it on.

"This is my nemesis' amnesia-inator. Don't ask about the name. Anyway, there is a reverse switch on it." I said, aiming the machine at them. They braced themselves as I fired it.

When the dust cleared, everyone was coughing. Phineas' face was bright red.

"Now I remember everything! The other dimension, the robots, you as a cyborg… and when Isabella… ISABELLA KISSED ME!" Phineas shouted, putting his hands to his face. Everyone just smirked at him.

"Wait, you're a cyborg in the other dimension?" Pansy asked, shuddering.

"Yep." I said uncomfortably. She grimaced. I pulled up a photo of the platy-borg on my computer for everyone to see. It still freaked me out, even this long after seeing it.

"Wow, it looks exactly like you, only it's 95% metal." Pansy pointed out.

"That's because it is. And it still creeps me out." I said, shivering in fear. "Don't worry, it's not evil anymore. It lives with the other dimension Phineas and Ferb again now." I said.

"If that ever happened to you, I would be mentally broken." Pansy said, hugging me.

"Me too." I joked. She laughed and kissed me happily.

"BUT ISABELLA KISSED ME!" Phineas yelled, turning an even darker shade of red.

"Yes, Phineas, we all know that Isabella kissed you. But she doesn't remember, so you probably shouldn't mention it to her…" I said, smiling at Phineas' dumbfound expression.

"I can't believe that she kissed me! She never implied that she liked me at all!" Phineas stuttered.

"Actually, she gives you hints pretty much every day, but you fail to notice." Candace pointed out with a smile.

"She… She does? Wow, I can't believe I was so oblivious…" Phineas said.

"Yeah, we can't either." I said with a smirk. Phineas glared at me.

"Stop it or I'll tell Pansy your middle name!" He said threateningly.

"Okay, fine, I'll stop." I sighed.

"Perry has a middle name?" Pansy asked uneasily.

"Yep. And it's really funny!" Phineas said with a big smile.

"You're the one who gave me that name!" I growled.

"Hey, we were four! We didn't exactly know how to name a platypus!" Phineas said with an eye roll. I just sighed in defeat.

"Please, please, PLEASE TELL ME!" Pansy pleaded. Phineas smirked.

"Bartholomew." He said. Pansy started laughing and pointing at me. I just rolled my eyes angrily.

"It's not my fault that Phineas and Ferb gave me such a stupid name! If I could have, I would have named myself!" I growled angrily.

"Oh, Bartholomew! I'll never live you down for this!" Pansy chuckled.

"I'm going away now." I grumbled as I walked towards the door. Everyone's eyes followed me silently.

"Bartholomew, could Ferb and I modify your stuff?" Phineas joked.

"Call me that one more time and your dead, Phineas Vincent Flynn!" I growled at him. He flinched at his full name.

"Hey, at least my middle name isn't as stupid as Bartholomew…" He muttered. Then he and Ferb got out their tools and started disassembling my hover car.

"Make sure you can actually put it back together, because if it breaks or something, my boss is gonna kill me…" I told Phineas as I sat down in my red chair.

"Right-o, Bartholomew!" Phineas said and started blowtorching something. I rolled my eyes and checked my e-mail. Candace watched me with interest.

"I think I like your computer best of everything in here." She told me. I smiled a little and signed out.

"Do you want to use it? I think I'm done…" I told her. She nodded enthusiastically and sat in my chair. She went onto Facebook and started messaging her friends. I rolled my eyes playfully and went towards Phineas.

"Hey, Perry! Ferb and I are already done with the hover car! Now it drives three times faster, and we've also added some new features. Here, let me show you! This is a cup holder, drink dispenser that has coffee, water, and orange juice, just in case you're running late one morning, trophy case, video screen, fedora multiplier, platypus food dispenser, a drawer for your gadgets…" Phineas continued naming the new stuff he added. I smiled and shook my head. The boys never fail to amaze me with whatever they build.

"…built-in laser guns, unbreakable seatbelts, an upgraded steering wheel, new foot pedals, CD player, it also plays radio, um… oh yeah, and we added extra seats in the back! Just press this button, and these seats pop up!" Phineas said enthusiastically. "That's all we changed in this vehicle, but were going to install all new features in your rocket car!"

"Wow, Phineas! That's great!" I said happily, at a loss for words. Phineas smiled and lead Ferb over to my rocket car. They started to add new things in right away. I smiled happily and walked over to help them.


End file.
